A Letter to Myself

Dear Tonya,

First of all I would like to tell you that you will not always enjoy being in this position, quite often you will be irritated when someone tells you to do something. Don’t eat too much cheese. Take lots of naps. Consider all advice given to you on the mat (forget who the source is) and decide for yourself what it is worth.

Training hard is often fun, but to keep your sanity train with someone who enjoys learning and has a good attitude. If someone makes you angry enough to become upset even after class is over, avoid training with them.

Spend time talking with members after class. It’s a good way to make freinds.

I know you’ve learned to separate your anger and your technique, so you don’t injure people who frustrate you, but do not allow anger to close your mind. Most advice has merit even if the source has less skill than you.

Do your best not to let your mind wander while a technique is being demonstrated. Its pretty embarrassing to go first in line and not know whats going on.

Don’t wait to be confused when teaching a beginner. Ask Mike what you’re supposed to teach them. If they have trouble with front rolls, abandon those and focus on back falls and techniques that use back falls. Don’t use terms like ki, extension, or center when talking to a beginner. These words are meaningless to them. Use concrete language refering to each individual step they must take to complete a technique. “Move this leg now, keep your arm straight, bend your knees.” Most of all be patient with a beginner, they appreciate this more than your ability to throw them hard.

If you have the energy, train with a black belt or high ranking kyu. Make your goal in each class to improve some small thing in your technique.

You’re going to lose weight gain some muscle and eat a lot. You probably already know this, but you’re going to need a smaller size in jeans.

Tonya, the uchi deshi

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You’re currently reading “A Letter to Myself,” an entry on Tonya's Training Diary

Published:: 6.11.09 / 9am

Category:: Aikido

grassHopper 6.11.09 / 10am

😆 Best post yet.

Jerry 6.11.09 / 11am

“Don’t eat too much cheese.”

Truer words were never spoken.

Incognito 6.11.09 / 3pm

I live my life by that very phrase.

MM 6.11.09 / 7pm

You might appreciate looking back on this post some day.

Jerry 6.11.09 / 10pm

Would you mind expanding a bit on your anger / technique comment? I have to admit that in the past I’ve been…hesitant…(just a little!) to train with you when I notice your becoming agitated.

Tonya Mochocki 6.12.09 / 9am

Basically I mean if someone makes you mad don’t slam them into the mat. Slamming for other reasons is fine, but not if you’re mad.

It is okay to sit and refuse to train with them if they are being too rough with you or resisting too much. That an option only after you have asked them to cooperate with your wishes.

Jerry 6.12.09 / 12pm

Was this something you worked on while in New York? Did Mike or someone else bring this to your attention?

Honestly, as an instructor, I feel this is an area where I’ve failed. On those infrequent occasions in the past, when you’ve been upset, rather than bring this to your attention, I simply stopped training with you (or slowed down my ukemi to the point where I knew you couldn’t injure me).

I emphasize infrequent because the vast majority of time you are a joy to train with.

Instead of shutting down, I should have made more explicit the role ego has in budo training. (I.e., Your real uke was not me, it was your own expectations regarding your Aikido. In other words, your ego).

By failing to address this directly, irimi, I failed in my Aikido. (I.e., I was wrongly concerned about your reaction, when my only concern should have been helping you).

Ah, well. You have better instructors now.

The Dark Knight 6.12.09 / 5pm

Not to go all Jedi like here, but if you let anger take control you will loose everything you strive to work for in your technique. That goes for any and all martial arts. First time I ever got into a fight i let my emotions get the best of me, and I lost everything I had previously learned in the last 3 years. (This point in time I was a fresh blackbelt, I had just got in maybe 6 months prior). I honestly thought about quitting martial arts, my thinking was “I just wasted 3 years learning this stuff, and i didn’t use it, all i did was punch wildly”.

But then I decided to stick with it because I now knew what it was like to be enraged. The next few years I started to train my mind. I would think of things that would make me angry before and during classes. When I sparred I was angry, performing forms i was angry, anything that I did. This taught my focus, to channel that emotion and release it out, all the while learning to control it throughout the technique. Anyone now can watch me doing techniques, especially if its randori…I dont look like a happy camper. But I am perfectly aware of what I’m doing, and I will never become enraged and go berserk like I did so many years ago.

Emotions can give you focus, they give you the will to get back up after being thrown into a hard breakfall. But if you let them, they will make you loose that focus and do something that can hurt you or others.

grassHopper 6.12.09 / 5pm

Ah, don’t paint it too bleak Jerry.

Buck 6.12.09 / 5pm

From St. Petersburg, FL:

I trained at The Aikido Dojo (ASU) earlier this week, catching a small morning class taught by Masao Yatsui sensei. I think this was Glenn’s former dojo. It’s always been enlightening to me to train in other dojos and in other styles. ASU has its differences and nuances that are worth practicing and internalizing. There were only three students on the mat including me. One was another visitor and the other a regular student. And the class was an hour and a half, so we covered a lot of techniques, mainly from shomen uchi. Several involved a sort of ten chin/kaiten movement that addressed the probability of nage tracking you with their blow, something we don’t consider as much as we probably should.

Being a stranger on the mat, regardless of rank, is a humbling experience. But the class was productive and I enjoyed training there and came away with some new techniques that I’ll share in my next class. I stayed and talked with Yatsui sensei after class and enjoyed his company.

I hope to train there again under Messores sensei (the chief instructor) and also at Hyde Park Aikido under Nobu sensei where I’ve been before.

Hope all is well in Jax.

PS Heather’s surgery, the reason I’m here, went well and she is recovering nicely for someone whose jaw is wired shut.

With regard to Tonya’s post, remember that anger fuels the dark side of the force. I’m certain someone on this blog can find the perfect link to support this…

grassHopper 6.12.09 / 8pm

Oh, you mean this stuff?

In regard to the topic: well, all I can say is this.

Glad Heather’s doing well.

Jerry 6.12.09 / 9pm

All too easy….

BTW, Nobu has a new location since the last time you visited. His dojo is located on the second floor of a gym. Whenever you take a fall, the whole building shakes!

I really want to visit his school again.

I’m glad Heather is well.

grassHopper 6.12.09 / 9pm

@ the link: What the fudge…

@ previous comment: Talk about rockin’ the house..

Edit from Jerry: Link fixed. Weird….

The Dark Knight 6.12.09 / 11pm

Come to the dark side!!! We have cookies!!!

All im saying is you gotta have the mind set to be able to handle those emotions that come about in violent situations. As martial artists we should learn to control them (emotions). basically because we all know how to hurt someone. But they (even anger) is key for survival. just dont blow a fuse everytime someone cuts you off in traffic.

Jerry 6.14.09 / 3pm

This is a topic I’ve been thinking about for a while: Who are your Aikido influences?

Obviously, our main influence is Dee. Most notably, she’s the one who introduced soft ukemi (“wide legged ukemi”) into the school.

Some other things I’ve learned from her: She taught me to think about entrances and footwork, rather than technique. (I remember this vividly during her black belt training at New York Aikikai).

And she is the primary influence in my randori, with her emphasis on moving towards uke, decisively, and then letting the technique form.

The wide variety of waza that we practice is also attributable to her. Her kinesthetic memory is incredible.

How about your influences?

The Dark Knight 6.14.09 / 8pm

Dee, Buck, Jerry, John, Mike, Joey, myself, tang soo do, my career, the mats, the wall, pepe’s mexican restaurant….

Jerry 6.15.09 / 8am

Happy Birthday, Tonya!

grassHopper 6.15.09 / 10am

Have a great day:!:

Incognito 6.15.09 / 12pm

Happy birthday! (*cough* speech *cought*)

Who influenced me the most…

As far as my ukemi, I would personally say that Dee, Fabian, and Buck influenced me the most in that order… all for differant reasons. Not that others were less experianced in ukemi, but because they were able to best expalin what, why, and how… if that makes sense.

For nage, I would say Jerry, Buck, and Mike, in that order.

From seminars I have been to… Grady Lane and Allen Drysdale stick out above the others… but I’ve only been to about 4 or 5.

Odviously everyone has had a hand in my education, from Sam to John… but those names stand out. I suppose even those folks that only step onto the mat for the first time even had something to add to it because they seem to think of questions I would have never thought of.

The Dark Knight 6.15.09 / 3pm

You mean to tell me my Blocker Stick didnt help your ukemi???? I am so hurt right now…

Jerry 6.15.09 / 4pm

Other strong influences, in no particular order: Lane Sensei, Bernath Sensei, Yamada Sensei, Sugano Sensei, Wagener Sensei, Arakawa Sensei….The list goes on.

Of course, without Dee, there would be no school, at least not in a form we would recognize. Can’t speak for Mike or John, but Dee is the one with the personal relationships in the federation. She’s the one who maintains ties with the shihans and shidoins….

Incognito 6.15.09 / 4pm

DK’s blocker stick is also a big influence on my aikido. :~P

An Aikidoka 6.15.09 / 10pm

Jerry 6.16.09 / 4pm

Tonya,

Did you receive anything in the mail?

Tonya 6.17.09 / 8am

Yes! thank you for the card. You all have very nice signatures.

incogneto 6.17.09 / 5pm

No announcements for us Tonya?

grassHopper 6.17.09 / 6pm

Announcement(s)?

Jerry 6.17.09 / 7pm

So, incogneto, was I right about our little bet? Hmmm?

incogneto 6.17.09 / 10pm

Yes Jerry, you were right.

Tonya has an announcement for us, and it is very exciting. Grasshopper, Dark Knight, MM, and anyone else with facebook can go there and see her announcement at any time. I don’t want to steal her thunder, though. SOOOOOO the rest of you folks will have to wait till she announces it here. If you have a facebook account and are friends with Tonya, go see her news!

Tonya Mochocki 6.18.09 / 11am

Yes I recently got engaged Monday (my birthday). I’d take a picture of the ring for you guys but its so sparkly that my phone can’t take a good shot of it.

Luke basically said he was taking me out to dinner for my birthday. I got suspicious when all the stores on the street (47th) were jewelers. We walked up to a store and he told me to pick one. He didn’t get down on one knee or anything, because I pretty much asked him months ago. Several weeks back when told him I wanted a ring for my birthday, he talked on and on about getting surround sound speakers and a 47 inch t.v with a blue ray dvd player until I had lost all hope. lol he really fooled me.

grassHopper 6.18.09 / 12pm

I’m choking/blacking out. Well, congratulations. 😀

Dee and Jerry 6.18.09 / 12pm

Congratulations!!

A Letter to Myself

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