One of the unexpected benefits of cryogenic freezing is the perspective you gain.
For example, when I was unconscionably tricked went into my deep freeze the kamiza was located on our east wall, our new kamiza hadn't yet been built, and we trained on wrestling mats instead of tatami. Also, our resident sound effects guy, Ramon, hadn't yet joined the school.
If you know of what I speak, then you understand.
Seriously, remember the old Adam West Batman show? Those fight scenes? Train with Ramon. You'll see.
Congratulations! 🎉
Our hearty congratulations to Steven and Ameenah for their well deserved yellow belt and yellow belt black stripe promotions.
As is customary, we've attached a tiny scroll chronicling your achievement to our dojo pigeon, so the good news can be spread throughout the federation.
Next up are Sebastian, Carlos, Clinton, and Amber. Good luck!
Mighty Monthly Misogi 💪
For the new year, Sensei wants to continue a tradition she began last January: the Mighty Monthly Misogi Club.
To join our hallowed ranks, a student must commit to performing 108 repetitions of an Aikido technique, both as uke and nage, without interruption, except for brief rests. It's fun(?), and a great way to cleanse the abiding darkness of the soul.
New members welcome! Loincloth not necessary!
New Students - Kids Edition
A quick shout-out to the relatively new students in our kids classes.
As always, an amazing seminar. Of course, I'm partial to one of the instructors.
(Pro tip: If you're going to a seminar, save the car shopping—ahem, Ramon—until after class. Also, don't talk politics! You're welcome!)
Want to see even more? We've got ya covered! Head on over to our blog to get the full experience, in glorious 16 bit color.
Our Christmas Party 🎄
We had food! We had drinks! We argued whether George Washington had wooden teeth!
(And for the record, like all members of the Illuminati, George Washington was hand fed his meals by a penguin butler.)
February Newsletter - AI Edition 🤖
And finally, this sad news. After reading last month's car crash of a newsletter, Sensei has decided to outsource the writing of future newsletters to a chatbot artificial intelligence. She says, and I quote, "With this technology, we'll be at the intersection of Aikido, artificial intelligence, and cryogenic therapy."
I'm not gonna lie; I'm concerned. Will the newsletter survive? Are my NFT's safe? Also, is anyone hiring?
